Appearance and perception

For some reason it became inappropriate to be honest about first impressions and how they impact decisions and daily life. I think if some people knew how they are perceived a great percentage of them would change part of their look. Don’t get me wrong, this is not about judging someone on their looks, it is about being judged on your looks and nobody can escape from that. There are great books about that, about how one can alter someone’s perception of you.

Sometime ago I saw this article about what women were looking for in dating networks. This very same guy had three profiles on. In one of them he had a picture where he was dressed on a suit and tie, the other one was very sporty, wearing a baseball cap, shorts and a nice t-shirt, in the third one he was dressed as a chef. All the profiles got responses but the favourite by far was the business suit one. I am not here to discuss why women preferred that very same guy wearing formal clothes, but it is undeniable that he had been perceived differently. Some women who chose to get in touch with this very formally dressed guy, or who portrayed himself like that, would not go out with the other two (the sports guy and the chef).

It also becomes very obvious when a person is stopped on the Immigration line for “no reason”. A friend of mine who works with artists noticed that when artists entered a certain country the ones from a certain age group were always held up.

The bad thing is that it is impossible to control what the viewer sees. For a very long time I tried to do that, only to fail. When one sees someone he or she doesn’t only see them with their eyes, they see with all their previous experiences, so if they had a problem with people dressing, looking or behaving a certain way and you happen to have something in common with that, the viewer will be predisposed to think that you and that person are two peas in a pot.

I do try to manipulate that a bit. If I am meeting someone and I do wish to cause a certain impression, I dress not how I think it is appropriate, I try to put myself in that person’s shoes and I think “what would someone with that background would consider appropriate for this occasion?” Obviously, it is impossible to know personal experiences that person may have had, but on the other hand it is ok to generalize a bit, for example, If meeting older people I would recommend dressing more formally and showing less skin, if meeting someone whom you know to be very laid back, be a bit laid back yourself, but don’t try too hard or it looks fake. Anyways, like I said, I try to make the best of it but I am not sure I hit the target every time and also there are some elements of my look that I refuse to change, I just love it, even when I am aware it can be harmful to the way I want to be perceived.